i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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