Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
