Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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