when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
