people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
