left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize