dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
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i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
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I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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