I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
