it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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