Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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