Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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