nut hugger
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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