Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
How external is "for external use only"?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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