I will die if light touches me.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
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