So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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