There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
high people should be assigned attendants
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
