is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
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you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
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And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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