At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You have to summon your inner elephant
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
