He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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