my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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