You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
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Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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