So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
