Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
