vagina is talking i cant
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize