dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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