Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize