I'm so fucking centered right now
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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