you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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