i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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