I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
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