I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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