before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
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while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
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let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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