I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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