He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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