here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
