why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
