Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
