He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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