is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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