Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
