I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
