yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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