I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
