i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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