Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
