yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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