I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize