he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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