Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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