you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
