I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You have to summon your inner elephant
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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