My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
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