How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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