Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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