it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
