She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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