Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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