Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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