I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
